Transcript - Lois and Clark: Tempus Fugitive
Clip 101
Tempus is strolling down a seedy street in Metropolis when he sees a man being robbed in an alley. The
mugger runs away.
Tempus: (To Victim) What just happened here is called a...mugging?
Victim: No kidding. He took everything but my watch.
Tempus: Not a very successful mugging, was it. Let's see if I can do better. (He lifts the man up, pinning
him against the wall and takes his watch.) Excellent! I just mugged you!
Victim: Are you out of your mind?
Tempus: No...my century. (He tosses the man aside.) And I love it!
Clip 102
Gun Shop Owner: Got your shotguns, your long guns, your semi-automatics...
Tempus: Semi-automatics?
Gun Shop Owner: My personal choice for self protection. I keep one here right under the cash box. (He
retrieves the gun to show Tempus.) Gives the scum a real surprise, they try to rip me off. Nine millimeter
with a thirty-two shot stagger clip.
Tempus: Hmmm
Gun Shop Owner: Spits out these puppies as fast as you can squeeze the trigger.
Tempus: My.
Gun Shop Owner: Makes you someone to respect.
Tempus: How do you load it?
Gun Shop Owner: (While demonstrating.) Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. (Removes the clip from the
weapon.)
Tempus: (Laughs)Tell me something, those chains you're wearing, are they real gold?
Gun Shop Owner: 24 karat.
Tempus: May I? (He would like to hold the gun.)
Gun Shop Owner: Oh, be my guest. (Hands Tempus the gun, who quickly grabs it and the clip too.) Hey!
What?
Tempus: (Tempus loads the weapon and turns it on the other man.)The chains, give them to me.
Gun Shop Owner: I don't believe this. (Removes his chains and places them on the counter top.)
Tempus: And the ammunition belt, holster, extra clips, of course...Excellent. You are, you know, incredibly
stupid. Bless you. (He aims the gun at the shop owner.)
Gun Shop Owner: No! (He ducks for cover.)
Tempus: (Starts shooting up the place.) Yes! That's wonderful!
Clip 103
At a public park where the time machine rests, Lois and H.G. Wells talk.
Wells: ...you're in danger of a time flow ripper...
Lois: Mr. Wells? What is it you're after? Exactly.
Wells: Oh, quite, quite. Didn't I say? Fuel.
Lois: What kind of fuel?
Wells: Pure 24-karat gold.
Lois: You got to be kidding? That's the best you can do?
Wells: Miss Lane--
Lois: So did you expect that we would just give you all our jewelry, or maybe get Superman to dig you a
mine? Do I have the word sucker stamped on my forehead? Or maybe you think I'm the dumbest person on
the planet.
Wells: Or I'm really H.G. Wells.
Tempus: He is.
Wells: Tempus?
Tempus: Hello, Herb.
Wells: And what are you doing with that horrible weapon?
Tempus: I'm going on a trip. And you're driving. (He looks at Lois.) Don't I know you?
Lois: I don't think so. Most of my friends are pro-gun control.
Tempus: No, wait, Lois Lane. Yes! I've seen the holograms. Well, this is a special pleasure, Miss Lane.
I'm Tempus. I'm from the future that you and Superman created.
Lois: Me and Superman?
Tempus: A world of peace. A world with no greed or crime. A world so boring you'd blow your brains out
but there are no guns. You want to know the future, Miss Lane? No one works, no one argues, there are
nine thousand channels and nothing on! Why, I intend to do something about that. Herb, set the time
machine for Smallville, 1966.
Lois: Smallville?
Wells: No, we have no fuel. (Tempus hands him the gold chains.) We have fuel.
Tempus: One of the many disadvantages of being from Utopia is complete lack of technological
understanding. I can't run this machine, but I can run this one. Now, go.
(Wells prepares the time machine.)
Tempus: Miss Lane, you seem like an attractive and interesting woman. I'm almost sorry I'll be ruining your
life.
Lois: What are you talking about?
Tempus: I'm going to kill Superman, of course.
Lois: Nobody can kill Superman.
Tempus: Unless you could get a hold of him when he was a helpless little baby. Gee, if only I had a time
machine. (Laughs) You ready Herb? (Wells resets the machine from 1966 to 1866 while Tempus isn't
looking.) You see, Miss Lane, in a world with no Superman, there'll be no Utopia in the future...just a lot of
sex and violence...and me.
Tempus laughs as the Time Machine leaves in a flash of colorful lights and Superman arrives just a bit too
late.
Clip 104
Noise and lights comes from a livery in Smallville, 1866. After things settle down, Tempus and Herb exit.
Tempus: Smallville? 1966? I don't think so. (Looks at a cow poke muttering to himself.) Unless that's Bob
Dylan.
Wells: It isn't my fault you used an inferior grade of gold. It obviously affected the time flux facilitator.
However, we are in Smallville. (Laughs)
Tempus: But a hundred years early and out of fuel. I'd almost think you did it on purpose, Herb, if I thought
you had a spine. Well, let's go.
Wells: Where?
Tempus: See if they've got any gold in this here town. (Retrieves a hat from the livery and places it on his
head.)
Wells: You look quite funny in that hat.
Clip 105
Wells and Tempus enter a saloon. All activity stops and all eyes are on them.
Tempus: Well, well. Yee-hah. I guess this is where we belly up to the bar and order.
Wells: Yes, quite. (To the others in the bar.) Hello. Good morning.
Tempus: Herb?
Wells: Yes, I'd like a spot of tea, actually.
Miss Martha: This is the Red Eye, Mister. We serve whiskey. We serve beer.
Wells: Oh yes, quite.
Jesse James: (Gets up from his table and approaches the bar with an empty bottle.) (To Miss Martha)
Another bottle.
Miss Martha: That's Snakebite Rye. Dollar per.
Jesse James places a gold dollar on the counter top and Tempus snatches it up.
Miss Martha: I keep it in back, I'll just be a sec.
Tempus: Herb? How many of these would it take to get out of here?
Wells: Well, I don't know, two, three hundred.
Tempus: (To Jesse James) Where can we got more of these?
Jesse James: Well, I got that one down at the bank, a whole shipment just come in. Go ahead and take it.
Tempus: Really?
Jesse James: Of course, you got about five seconds to spend it.
Tempus: Wait. I know you. Well, you're not...? Yes! Jesse James!
Jesse James: Better back that face right on up, Mister.
Tempus: I'm right, aren't I? And that's your brother, Frank. Why, you two are my inspiration. I've read
everything about you. You must be here to rob the bank. I don't recall you ever robbing a bank in Smallville.
Are you as good with a gun as they you are?
Jesse James pulls out his gun and demonstrates
Tempus: Wasn't that something?
Wells: It really was. That was quite good.
Tempus: Well, you're good. You're really good. You got a future...not a very long one, unfortunately, and
here's why. See, no matter how good you are, there's always somebody better. To which...(He pulls out his
automatic weapon and rapidly fires off several shots.)
Tempus: Now, as much as I like you both, if you and your brother Frank have any ideas about the bank
full of gold...? Get in line.
Marshall Kent: (He enters the saloon with guns drawn.) You boys have something personal against this
place?
Clip 106
Mainly a bunch of shouting and shooting as Tempus and Wells rob the bank and Marshall Kent and Miss
Martha get into a gun fight with the James Brothers.
Clip 107
Back in the livery, Wells works on preparing the Time Machine for travel.
Tempus: Herb, would you work faster with a few bullets in you?
Wells: Really Tempus, I’m becoming quite tired of your joking.
Tempus: Trust me, I’m not joking. Hurry. (He sees Lois) Ms. Lane…what are you doing here?
Lois: Uh, well I, grab on to the back of this machine before it, you know, poof.
Wells: Yes, yes, yes quite, if she did she’d been caught in the, in the, poof, in the interdimensional vortex.
Yes.
Tempus: And you came alone?
Lois: Yes.
Tempus: Well, Lois Lane, independent career woman of the 1990s, you’re about to be stranded in 1866,
without the right to vote, own property, or write for a great metropolitan newspaper. (Laughs) God, I love
irony.
Wells: So sorry Miss Lane. I wish I’d never invented this contraption.
Tempus: (To Wells) Keep loading the gold.
Lois: If you want to kill Superman I don’t know why going to Smallville or why 1966.
Tempus: She doesn’t know yet. Oh, this is good. This is really good. Um, Lois, did you know that in the
future you’re revered at the same level as Superman? Why, there’s books about you, statues and
interactive games. You’re even a breakfast cereal.
Lois: Really?
Tempus: Yes, but as much as everybody loves you, there is one question that keeps coming up. How
dumb was she? Here, I’ll show you what I mean. (He takes Wells’ glasses and puts them on himself.) Look,
I’m Clark Kent. (He removes the glasses, sticks out his chest and speaks in a deeper voice.) No, I’m
Superman, (He puts the glasses back on and speaks softly.) mild manner reporter. (He takes the glasses
back off.) superhero. Hello. Duh. Clark Kent is Superman. (Laughs) Well, that was worth the whole trip. To
actually meet the most galactically stupid woman who ever lived. Come on, Herb, Clark and Superman are
dead. The future belongs to me.
Clip 108
Tempus and Wells walk up to where a small spacecraft came crashing down on Earth just outside of
Smallville in 1966.
Tempus: Just like the history books said.
Wells: Yes, right down to the remnants of the exploding planet sucked along in the path of the ship, here.
Tempus: Otherwise known (Squats down to pick up a piece of glowing rock) as Kryptonite. (He points the
gun toward the capsule.) Open it.
Wells opens the latch and sees baby Superman.
Wells: Oh, my.
Tempus: Hello, Junior.
Baby: Coo
Clip 109
Wells: (He’s carrying the baby with Tempus walking along side.) Where are we?
Tempus: Well, if I remember my Kent history from college, this is Rocky Cove. A nice, safe place to spend
some quality time with our child. (They stop walking and Tempus motions toward the ground.) Just put him
right there.
Wells: (To the baby as he gently places him on the ground.) Here, little one, just rest. (He rises to confront
Tempus) You know I won’t let you hurt him. I will fight you with my last breath.
Tempus: Really?
Wells: I swear it.
Tempus knocks Wells to the ground with a backhanded slap to the head.
Wells: (As he’s falling.) Oh, dear.
Tempus: Sorry, can’t have you swearing in front of the baby. (He laughs and looks down at smiling and
cooing baby.)
Clip 110
Tempus is finishing tightening up the ropes around Wells seated in the time machine.
Wells: Don’t do this, Tempus.
Tempus: What, Herb? I’m not doing a thing.(He walks over to the baby) Does baby like his shiny new
Kryptonite? Huh? Well, you just play with it all you want...
Clip 111
Lois and Clark arrive by car, but Clark is feeling too weak to walk so Lois goes on without him. She picks
up a large stick on her way. She discovers Wells tied up and Tempus cradling baby Superman.
Tempus: (Singing as a lullaby)...play with your rock and make pointless your birth. The world will spin on,
sans Super-decree...and the future belongs to...people...like...me. (He lays the baby down and places a
piece of Kryptonite right on him.) It won't be long now.
Wells: You really think you can destroy Utopia by killing a child?
Tempus: Well, as you can see, Herb, I'm giving it my best.
Wells: You're a fool. A world of peace will always be man's ultimate goal.
Tempus: Herb, did you books actually sell? Because, you're kind of a bore. Which brings me to my next
question. What am I going to do with you? Huh? I could just leave you here to starve...but no, you might get
away, build another time machine. Obviously, I got to kill you, but how? Something suitable, something
ironic...like what I did to Lois, that was good. I know, a Utopian execution. I'll bore you to death! (Laughs)
Lois steps on a twig and Tempus hears it snap. He grabs the gun and leaves to investigate as Lois backs
up into the woods. Lois hides behind a large boulder and when Tempus passes she tosses a stone to
distract him. Then she hits in the back with the stick. He falls to the ground. They both lunge for the gun he
dropped during the fall. Clark weakly makes it to the scene and sees Tempus regain control of the gun and
point it at Lois who's on her back on the ground.
Tempus: How did you get? (Realization dawns on him.) Another time machine. Where is it? You will tell
me.
Clark blows out cold breath onto Tempus’ hand and the gun. Tempus drops the gun. Lois hooks her right
foot behind Tempus' ankle and knocks him down on his back.
Lois: (Gets to her feet) You like violence so much...come on…let's see what you've got.
Tempus swings at her and misses. She knees him in the stomach and as he bends over she brings her
hands down on his neck, knocking him down to the ground on his stomach.
Lois: Hate to tell you...you hit like a girl. (She runs to the baby and tosses the Kryptonite away from him.
She unties Wells who’s concerned about the baby. Her and a now freed Wells go to the baby.
Lois: (Hesitantly picking up the baby.) I'm not very good—I’m not very good with –
Wells: Oh, you will be, you will be. Hold his head and keep him close. (Coos at baby) Oh yes, yes, yes,
yes…
Clark regains his full strength just as Tempus is also recovering.
Tempus: (Sees Clark) Uh-oh.
Tempus gets up and makes a run for it but Clark tackles him to the ground. Clark then stands up lifting him
up so his feet aren't touching the ground.
Tempus: Showoff.
Lois: (Carrying the baby) Clark! Are you alright?
Clark: I'm fine.
Lois: I was so afraid that you were –
Clark: It's all right, everything is all right.
Lois: I couldn't stand the idea that I might lose you and I'd never get to tell you how much...I’d never get to
say—
Tempus: Oh, please. I'll go to jail, I'll strap myself into the electric chair--just don't make me listen to this!
Clark: (To Lois) It's almost night. (He tosses Tempus over to Wells.) I've got to go. (He takes his glasses
off) I've always wanted to do this front of you. (He opens his shirt to reveal the 'S.' and then spins around
until in full costume. He approaches Lois to take the baby from her.)
Lois: He looks like you.
Clark: I hope so. (To baby as Lois places him in Clark’s arms) Time to go, pal. (Whoosh, Superman is
gone).
Clip 112
Wells finishes tightening the rope strapping Tempus to the time machine, and slaps him on the head.
Wells: There we go. (Laughs) (To Lois) Hello, hello. What's the matter, my dear?
Lois: You've been to the future, Mr. Wells, is it true what Tempus said about me?
Wells: Yes. You're as highly revered as any woman in history.
Lois: Oh, no, I meant about...being…galactically stupid.
Wells: No, no, no Miss Lane, not stupid. Blind. It's one of the many things that makes your story so
timeless: why children never tire of hearing it at bedtime, why parents never outgrow it, generation after
generation. We're all blinded by love, Miss Lane, especially that one great love that changes us forever.
Tempus: Um, excuse me? But I'm in danger of choking on my own vomit.
(Superman Returns)
Superman: Everything's alright, the Kents have the baby.
Wells: Good, good, good. Then we can start to make things right. Superman, you and Lois meet me at the
second time machine.
Wells climbs into his time machine, starts hitting switches.
Lois: Where are you going?
Wells: To see to it Mr. Tempus causes no more trouble.
Tempus: Superman, as longs as I have you here, just answer one thing for me...Why tights? Why a cape?
You're a grown man, don't you feel ridiculous?
Superman: My mother made it for me.
In a Kansas State Asylum in 1866, Tempus is wearing convict's stripes and looking through the bars of a
window.
Man: (Tosses a stone at Tempus): Take this you looney. (He runs off laughing).
Tempus: (Yelling ) You stupid, hayseed, corn-sucking, cow-lovers! I don't belong here. I'm from the future!
I have to get out of here so I can build another time machine! Hey! Anybody listening to me? Hey!
