Transcript - Lois and Clark: Tempus Anyone?

Clip 201

Lois is walking down a busy street when a man catches her attention. She stops and looks at him. She
doesn’t recognize him as Tempus because the previous time travel blocked her memory.

Tempus: (Wearing glasses) Hi, Lois. Remember me?

Lois: No, I—

Tempus: (Removes his glasses) How about now? (Laughs) It’s a private joke. (He pulls out a gun and
points it at Lois. She gasps.) Lois, after all we meant to each other, I'm still not ringing any bells? (He leads
Lois away).

Meanwhile back at a bank just recently robbed by Tempus…

Security Guard: (Talking to Superman as people are leaving coughing in a cloud of dark smoke.) This guy
comes in with a big gun and starts shooting up the place. He took gold and jewelry

Superman: Where did he go?

Security Guard: (Points in the direction).

Meanwhile…

Tempus: (Leading Lois to where the time machine is hidden in an alley) I suppose time travel can be a real
brain drain. Care to drop your things and step into the sled here? Step on or be carried. Makes no difference
to me.

Lois: It's always something. (She does as she told reluctantly)

Lois and Tempus are now seated in the Time Machine. He’s operating buttons while still holding the gun on
her.

Lois: (She spots Superman descending upon them from the sky.) If I were you, I'd put that gun down and
work on my manners.

Tempus: Really. Why?

The Time Machine disappears in a flash of colorful lights just as Superman lands.

Superman: Lois, Lois, Lois!


Clip 202

Tempus is sitting around a small table with thugs on an otherwise empty set for a TV talk show. Tempus is
sorting the newly acquired gold bars and chains as he laughs.

Major Domo (head thug): How do you score this kinda swag? There's not a cop after you, not a bank with
your picture in it?

Tempus: Major Domo? Can you keep a secret?

Major Domo: Sure.

Tempus: I have an inter-dimensional transport. Right here in this building, actually. And every day, I pop out
of this universe into an alternate one, take what I need and then zip back here where I’m not wanted for so
much as jaywalking.

Major Domo just stares at Tempus like he thinks he’s out of his mind, and then decides Tempus was joking
and starts to laugh. The other thugs join him.

Tempus: (Mutters) Cretins.

Major Domo: Ahhh, Mr. Tempus, you kill me, I swear, I mean, if there's anybody funnier in this whole world—
it’s no wonder you wanna be on TV.

Tempus: Oh, I don't want to be on TV to entertain, Major Domo, anymore than I want people to know that I
own this station. You see, TV is power. The power to lull, to pacify, and then when all eyes are glazed and all
minds are jelly—the power to take. The power to hold the world in your fist. Which is exactly what I intend to
do when I'm elected Mayor.

Major Domo: Whoa.

They all laugh and then Tempus' cell phone rings. He flips it open.

Tempus: Yes?

Spy: (Calling Tempus as he watches Lois and H.G. Wells walking together down a street.) Wells and Lane
have linked up. Looking very buddy-buddy.

Tempus: Where are they going?

Spy: Looks like the Daily Planet.

Tempus: No doubt in search of a super-hero. I love predictable behavior.


Clip 203

Wells: We cross this street here, then round that corner over there…

A limo pulls up next to them and Tempus exits it. Major Domo and the thugs are with him.

Tempus: You know? You really shouldn't walk around unarmed. My stores are offering a great deal on a
twelve-clip automatic, (He produces it), twenty-four rounds with every purchase, and a free pair of
sunglasses.

Wells: Do what you will with me, Tempus, but I implore you, spare the girl.

Tempus: God, Herb, who writes your dialogue? You sound like The Prisoner of Zenda.

Lois: You're not going to get away with this.

Tempus: Get away with what? Becoming Mayor of Metropolis by killing Perry White? Because somebody
might stop me—big, brawny, looks good in blue? Gee, if only I lived in a dimension with no Superman. Oh,
wait. Duh. I do! (Major Domo laughs as Tempus smiles.) And you're going to another dimension yourself,
Lois, one slightly more spiritual. (Leads her into the car.) Hope you've been good.

Goes into next scene where Wells is tied up in a theater chair.

Tempus: I've missed you, Herb. Sure, you're a few years older, I'm a few pounds lighter... you're about to be
a corpse, I'm about to be a god, but it's the same old us, together again, huh?

Wells: Where is Miss Lane?

Tempus: Just, um, standing around. (Turns on a TV showing Lois standing on a high ledge of a building.
She’s blindfolded and her hands are tied behind her back.)

Tempus: (Laughs) Do you think she has any idea she's five hundred feet in the air?

Lois inches over to her right and the brick under her foot crumbles. She yells out but regains her balance.

Lois: (To herself) Stay calm. Stay calm. Okay, I’m high up, I’m blind, my hands are tied. The ledge is falling
apart. Okay, panic.

Tempus: (Watching intently and laughing), Watch that foot there, Lois…

Lois slides to her left and hits another loose brick that gives away.

Tempus: Whew. That was close, huh? (He takes a seat and grabs a bowl of popcorn.).

Lois: Oh boy. I wish I had taken Lamaze.

Wells: Tempus, I cry out to whatever humanity is in you. Stop this!

Tempus: Why?

Wells: Because it is barbaric and cruel.

Tempus: Well, sure, but it's fun.

Wells: What do you have to gain by killing her?

Tempus: Herb, if I wanted to kill her, I'd beat her to death with a frozen
Lamb chop and then eat it with a nice Merlot.

Lois: (Sliding back and forth on the ledge talking to herself) Keep moving, find a window—

Tempus: No, I want to torture her, send her into spasms of sheer terror.

Wells: But why?

Tempus: Because it's good TV! It’s fun for the whole family! And then there's those magic words guaranteed
to make it a ratings bonanza. 'Help! Superman! Save me!' Only this time, there’s no Superman. (He watches
Lois struggle while munching on his popcorn for a while). The only thing that would ruin this is a commercial.


Clip 204

Lois is still stuck on the ledge while Tempus and Wells watches from a TV monitor.

Tempus: Now, ask yourself, Herb, why is there no Superman here? Is it because this Clark lost his parents,
didn't have their loving support? Or is it because he was denied the daily impetus of being in love with a
woman who's always throwing herself into death's jaws and screaming for—?

Lois: Help! (She falls)

Tempus: (Laughs)

Alternate universe Clark is with his fiancée planning their wedding when he hears Lois’ pleas. He rushes off
to save her.

Woman: Cloth napkins, not paper. Right, Clark?

Lois: (Heard by Clark only) CLAAAAAAAAAAA-RRRRRK!

Lana: Clark?

Clark: I’ll get—I’ll get back to you on that. (Rushes off to save Lois).

Lois is falling toward the ground screaming. Clark flies in and catches her. As he gently lowers her to the
ground, Tempus’ spy captures everything on tape.

Wells: (Breathes a sigh of relief.)

Tempus: Bravo, Mr. Kent. My plan is working perfectly.

Wells: You have a plan?

Tempus: Yes, Herb. I'm the bad guy. We always have a plan.


Clip 205

Tempus: (As picks out a tie to wear.) The heroine creates her hero. A mythically moving moment. Herb? Am
I still a man in your eyes if I weep?

Wells: This is what you want. You want her to create Superman.

Tempus: Very good, Herb. Mind like that, you missed a big career in game shows.


Clip 206

A make-up artist is applying base to Tempus’ face as he’s being prepared for a televised debate with Perry
White. He’s talking with Lois on the phone disguising his voice.

Lois: Who is this?

Tempus: I can't tell you, too dangerous. But Perry White will die unless you get to the TV station on Carlin
Avenue. Now. (To the make-up artist) Out! I couldn’t possibly look any better. (He sees that Major Domo has
arrived) Ah, Major Domo, what have you got for me?

Major Domo: That bomb you asked for. (He hands over a very small bomb to Tempus). C-7, enough
firepower in that little sucker to level a building.

Tempus: Excellent. (He approaches Wells who is tied up, and places the bomb in Herb’s pocket. Not armed,
Herb. Just yet. But I'd be careful just the same. I'd hate to blow our friendship. (He kisses Herb on the top of
his head and moves away.)

Meanwhile Lois and Superman are talking.

Lois:  Whoever it was, said there's going to be a debate on TV in a few minutes and Perry is going to be
killed.

Back at the TV studio the debate is underway.

Perry: All right, Mr. Tempus, let's just pull up the carpet and get down to brass tacks, here. Your whole
campaign is based on the enemy. 'Prepare for the enemy, arm for the enemy.' You're selling guns to ten-year-
olds because of this enemy. All right, I want to know who is it?

Tempus: Up to this point I didn't have the sort of evidence I now possess. But I can now state for the record
that the enemy is very real. The enemy is an invading force of aliens from outer space.

(Audience reacts with laughter)

Perry: You're nuttier than Squirrel Heaven.

Tempus: Scoff if you will, Mr. White, but the aliens are here.

Superman and Lois flies in and land on the stage.

Lois: Perry, are you all right?

Perry: Oh, I'm fine. My Lord, who is? What?

Tempus: Everyone get back! He's very dangerous!

Superman breaks through the backdrop to save Wells.

Wells: Be careful, Superman, it’s a bomb.

Tempus: A bomb? Did he say bomb?

Major Domo: (Pointing to Superman) He’s got a bomb! The alien has got a bomb!

Tempus: Everyone stand back. I will save us!

Tempus picks up a stone of Kryptonite.

Lois: No! (Domo holds her back as Superman comes back out onto the stage.)

Superman: All right! You've got a lot of explaining to do, Mr. Temp – (He collapses onto the floor)

Tempus: I think you're the one who owes this planet an explanation invader!


Clip 207

Tempus: You are part of an invading army, are you not?

Superman: (Lying on the floor) No...

Tempus: You are here to conquer us?

Jimmy: Put those guns away.

Lois: Stop it, you're killing him!

Tempus: I’m holding the alien at bay with the only alloy known to weaken him. You should feel fortunate I
was prepared! He can't hurt us now!

Lois: He's not part of an army, and he's not here to hurt us!

Tempus: That's why he flew in here, ripped opened a door open, and threatened us with a bomb?

Lois: That's a lie.

Tempus: I’ll tell you what's a lie. This is the lie! He's been amongst us for years, hiding, learning, waiting to
strike! (He makes a motion with his hand to signal the tape of Clark saving Lois to roll.) That's right! Clark
Kent, mild-mannered reporter for a great Metropolitan newspaper!

Lois: (To superman) I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I never meant for this—

Perry: Kent—

Tempus: Aided and abetted by James Olsen, Perry White, and Lois Lane!

Perry: All right, just hold on a minute, here—

Lois: You're twisting everything.

Jimmy: All right, the circus is over. Alien or not, this man has rights. I'm calling the police.

Tempus: That's right, hide behind the law, but you can't fool the people! They know!

Wells: (He walks up to Tempus) Tempus—

Tempus: They've seen the enemy and they know that one man is ready to protect them!

Wells: Yes, this explosive device—

Tempus: One man is ready to lay down his life to save a world! And that man is me!

Wells: It's ticking. It's going to explode.

Tempus: What?

Wells: The bomb! It’s going to explode!

Tempus: It's ticking?

Wells: Yes.

Tempus: It's gonna blow!

Wells: I said that.

Tempus: Run! Out of my way, out of my way! (Trying to get through the panic crowd) Out of my way!

Wells:  These are innocent people! You cannot abandon them!

Lois picks up the Kryptonite and tosses away from Superman.

Tempus: Watch me! (Fires his gun into the air) Clear out, you morons, or I'll blow you away!

Wells: I loathe this sort of behavior but you leave one little choice!

He knocks Tempus to the floor.

Wells: (The bomb making a high pitch sound) Oh, my, God!